My Eulogy - Ann Piccolotti

At the Garden Valley Church of Christ - 1:00pm - October, 1st, 2011. . .

Wow, it’s been over 20 years since I stood up here. The last time I was in this building was with my Grandma and Cousin Lisa, right before Grandma moved to Jacksonville. She had a smile on her face the whole time! Good memories here. The family and I appreciate the kindness the church members have shared.
There is no question that my grandma loved her grandchildren. She treated us as if we were her own. As I’ve reflected this last month on my grandma’s life I realized there are many things she has passed onto us, most of which were her Morals and Ethics. All four of us have turned out to be good people, because of her. I know this for sure. We all were influenced by her work ethic, which all of us in the family inherited.
I see so many attributes in my cousins and sister that reflect back Grandma.
Lisa’s love of art and pictures and the nurturing she provides Lalie, comes from Grandma. Kelli’s love for her husband and four boys, she cleans a mean house and does laundry like no other. I lived with grandma for a year and she always washed all my clothes and pressed them. I still wish I could iron like her. Apparently Aunt Kathy inherited this as well. Joe’s industriousness and willingness to pitch in and help was surely passed down from Grandma. My love of pictures and magazines, no doubt was influenced by her. Whenever I clean house I channel her, I swear. She kept the tidiest house and had the perfect yard. She gave us so much of her time. For 18 years I spent every Sunday evening with her, and she homeschooled Joe for a year. She loved us! I had the chance to witness Grandma meeting all the Great Grandchildren last year, the next generation and you could see the joy in her eyes. She loved kids.
Oh and the food! I don’t need to tell you all; Grandma loved to cook and we all were more than willing to eat. From the peanut butter and honey sandwiches, French vanilla ice cream, the best chocolate chip cookies, chocolate cake, grilled cheese sandwiches with mayonnaise (only at Grandma’s). I still love chick peas, which she always had with her salads, along with homemade Thousand Island dressing, which I obviously still love. My love of pasta comes from her! Oh the spaghetti sauce she made from scratch was like no other (with a bay leaf simmering); I know Joe enjoys cooking sauce as well. Oh, and she always had a stick of gum, certs and coffee nips. I loved the road trips with her. I think we all loved them!
We all have fond memories of the big house on Jackson Street. For Kelli it was like a giant doll house. Grandma always gave us free reign of the house, whether it was sleepovers on the balcony, which Lisa loved, or the fun basement. Although Kelli thinks the basement was a bit scary (I remember it as the fun/cool place the aunt and uncle lived from time to time). Grandma never let me live there. She wanted me closer to her.
I have to take this time to mention my Grandpa, Lou Piccolotti and the love I had for him as well. I so wish I could have a conversation with him now as an older adult. Such a wise and smart man; like no other.
I know there were times I disappointed her, but she still loved me unconditionally. I could always return home and know she had a place for me. During these tough times and horrible news, we need more people like her in the world, without question.
Grandma, this is not good-bye, but until we meet again.

Two thoughts?

So I listen to a lot of radio and am a cable news junkie. So I ask myself; is it okay to have two thoughts or (really) opinions at the same time? I am happy OBL is dead, but don't want to celebrate this fact. I don't like death.

I am proud of the strong men who performed this mission. Brilliant!

I want all men to be better. Let's just be better. And honest.

Jack

Once in a lifetime friendship. There are no words I can write that explain why I love these girls.

Trees

Trees sustain life. I just imagine, while I am sitting here in a cabin in Northern California, how my grandpa felt, what was he dreaming about? Was he dreading dealing with the trees? Was he thinking about a family? He made his living as did my dad on the the sustainability of trees. Trees mean money. Trees mean their children will have water, warmth, power and an education. Education?

Although my sister and I never finished University, we certainly have an education. The only regret I'll admit having is never getting a degree. Why am I writing about this? I am trying to connect the trees with the money. . . and then the education. . . and how much I love that so many of my family members have relied on the forest.

Hard work and a work ethic. Because my dad and grandpa worked so hard, Kelli and I have a great education and are far better people because of it. Their legacy have made us hard workers in whatever we do, whether that is raising four fantastic human beings or managing many people. I am convinced that hard work, kindness and respect for people brings happiness.

It's because of the trees. I love the trees.

Anna Mae Talburt Piccolotti

It's hard not to sound cliche' when I write or speak about my family, but I must say I really do love them. Our lives are intertwined in a strange and poignant way. We all share the same grandparents, great grand parents, great uncles and aunts. We all share the same line as the two that came over on a boat from a far away land over 100 years ago, trying to create a better life. Don't we all strive to create a better life?

It's been a week since I've seen my grandma and some of my family. These quick occasions sustain me.

It's good to reflect. Here's Joe and Lisa, cousins by my Uncle Mike.

Anna Mae Piccolotti - Going Down Together

I recently saw my Grandmother and those that know me well know how much she means to me. As our Secretary of State says, “It takes a Village.” Being 38 years old I understand this completely. I understand that she loved me unconditionally. The concept of unconditional love is foreign to me, especially in relation to my grandma. Although I was an incredible grandson when I was a kid I was awful as a young adult in my twenties. How do I reconcile this? How do I clear my mind when SHE doesn’t have much of a mind or memory anymore? How do I let her know I apologize for being so ungrateful and selfish?

This is how I’ll try. . .

The question I pose to myself is: Did I disappoint my Grandma?***

1. Is it true? Yes.
2. Can you absolutely know it’s true? No.
3. How do you react; what happens when you believe that thought? I drive myself crazy with thoughts that she was mad at me, that she disapproved of my sexuality so much that she thought I was going to hell or even worse was embarrassed by me.
4. Who would you be without the thought? I would be a guilt free adult that knows for sure I loved her and appreciate all she did for me and not let other people’s stories and memories get in the way. I would know her by how I remember her. I would be at peace. I would know that even during that decade I was a good person or at least a good family member.

I can now rest and not occupy my mind with thoughts of quilt. I know the truth about how I feel about my grandma and know she would appreciate this. It was very sad to see her and I never cried so much, I really hope my nephews don’t think I am off my rocker as they saw me as a hot mess. We all were really. To see how the boys responded to her made my heart happy. I think they get it.

“Going Down Together” This phrase or variations of the phrase was spoken in a constant loop by Anna (we call her Anna now as she doesn't understand the concept that she is a Grandma) during every visit with her. What gives me peace is it seemed to be a happy, peaceful quote, although I have to admit a bit creepy. She loved and still loves to sing, as I do. Kelli and I sang “Jesus Loves Me” with her and she remembered the words. She also still loves Dean Martin, which I know will make my Cousin Joe happy.

God bless you Grandma. I really do love you and always have. Please forgive me.

***These questions were borrowed from Byron Katie, which I don’t know much about. She was a guest on Rosie O Radio this morning and inspired me to work on my regrets and false dreams. I’ll go into this and my thoughts about The Work later. One must use what works at the appropriate time when dealing with depression/anxiety.

Morals?

My definition of being moral: cherishing your best friends' baby and the sister and countless friends that take care of those kids. Loving your family more than anything. Honoring mom, dad, grandma, grandpas, aunts and uncles and the village. Twenty years of loving the best people God could bring to your life. . . um, to change you for the better. Caring for a home, four beautiful kitties and one amazing man who shares the home with you. Working hard and sharing the reap of the harvest. Taking time to enjoy the view. Respecting the human everyday. Having manners and being kind.

Below is a picture of a goat. I know this doesn't have anything to do with the topic, but I had to share a picture.

Love to, as my Texan friends would say, ya'll.

38

I must say I hate getting older. Physically getting older really sucks more than I thought it ever would. It's been awhile since I've blogged, so I thought this would be the most appropriate time to write as I reflect on my life.

With every birthday I always reminisce about Family, like we all do I am sure. One thing I have always loved about my life is my fantastic and fabulous relationship with all my family. Whichever side, whether it's the Sweeney's or Piccolotti's, I fit in and totally understand the difference between nurture and nature and how it all relates.

Sweeney nurturing: Me with Aunt Linda and Cousin Amanda. They are from my dad's side, which I am not biologically attached to, but we are bonded by the Sweeney name/family. I was raised by Sam Sweeney and am his son by adoption, but you wouldn't know it. I define nurture as traits inherited by those around you during childhood. Who knew Sweeney would suit me so well. Here's me Linda and Amanda at dinner in Dallas, TX.

Fun and free spirited.

Naturally a Piccolotti: My mother is a Piccolotti and I had this last name for the first two years of my life. I mentioned nature earlier and know now more than ever that genetics also have so much to do with our character. Here's a picture of me and my Cousin Joey.

When I am around Joe I always think of my Grandpa Lou. I always wondered why??? I think it's because in some strange way he reminds me of Grandpa. There are traits in all of us that is linked to our family. I think about my aunts, uncles and grandparents and how much they really are like each other. . . like me.

Quiet and reflective.

Now I am thinking about my sister, Mom and Dad. The perfect combination of the nature and nurture. I thank them all for making me Sean Sweeney, a humble, grateful man.

What I know for sure: Appreciate the ones who have made you who you are. It really does take a village.

Not Smoking

I am going to start the process to quit smoking today. It's going to be a tough journey, but I am confident I can do it. One of the reasons I am choosing to quit is so I can live long enough to see my nephews and my friends' children grow up.

Congratulations to all the new and old parents in my life.

Victoria, BC

After four months of working in Canada I finally was able to get up there for a holiday. I spent three days last weekend in Victoria for Victoria Day weekend. Here's a picture of me at the Inner Harbour.

Below is the statue of Queen Victoria facing the Inner Harbour. Originally the statue was supposed to face the Parliament Building, but the artist was so upset by the fact that her hind end would face the harbour, they placed her to face the harbour. He still wasn't happy as she was too close to the street that anyone that wanted to look at her would either fall into the ocean or be hit by a car. He still didn't go to the unveiling ceremony. Artists can be so stubborn.

Below is a picture of Rebecca and I at Butchart Gardens. Behind us is the Sunken Garden the highlight of the visit. Breath taking! There is also a Japanese Garden on the estate, but I must say Portland, OR has a much better Japanese Garden that I am not going to publish those photos. Rebecca and her husband Jay have become great friends, and I must say after months of unbelievable stress it was so nice just to take it easy. . .

Butchart Gardens Pictures. . . Sunken Garden, Fountain, and the brilliant Greenhouse. . .

Stained Glass: I never thought of myself as a stained glass fan, but after visiting the BC Parliament building I must say I am convinced this is a fine art. State tribute to Art, Honoring the Queen Elizabeth II Jubilee and original BC Crest. . . lots of history behind all of them. . .

BC Parliament Building. Brilliant architecture. . .

Victoria, BC is an amazing place located just north of the great of Portland, OR, about 5 hours north, you all must go visit.

Lungs of a 69 year old.

. . . not good. I am going to quit smoking the first week of June. I have to let it known. I am thinking of hosting a ceremony. It needs to be a big deal. My doctor is going to help with it all, naturally.

My blood pressure is under control and I must say the doctor was quite pleased with my tracking log. I am taking it seriously.

I had a stress test on Thursday, and that went well, although it was quite apparent I need to start working out. I still have some youth in me, as I will remain taking only ONE blood pressure medication. So happy. I could write a book on how strange the appointment was, ask me sometime.

Sweeney is going to get better. My friend Alberto branded it, "How Sweeney got his groove back."

Today made me realize how precious life really is and not to take youth for granted.

Spring can really hang you up the most. . .

After the longest winter of my life I must say I have never been happier to be in Oregon and live in the house I call home. The Garden is looking better than ever!

The thought of getting older has never bothered me until two weeks ago. I have had some real back pain issues, actually the worse pain I've ever experienced. So, I scheduled an appointment with a new doctor at my Medical Clinic last Monday to check it out. Well come to find out my back is the least of my worries. I have extremely (scary) high blood pressure and am now on medication to get it under control. By her request I bought a blood pressure machine and have started recording my blood pressure daily. As sad as all this makes me I understand I can reverse it and use this as an excuse to get my health back to where it was years ago. This will include quitting smoking, seriously. It all ties back to my post below about being huge. So my new, wonderfully nagging doctor is going to see me every few weeks to help me live my best life. Mark my words, "Sweeney will get his groove back!"

My doctor: She's young and hip, has great fashion sense, is very tough and you know I can't say no to a strong, intelligent powerful woman, with class. I won't get away with anything.

After being home for nearly 14 hours and seeing the beautiful gardens and the kitties I feel blessed and want to make sure I have a long healthy life for years to come.

Huge

Okay. I am going to throw it out there. I am big and I hate it. About two years ago I lost 30 pounds at the request of my doctor and I did it. I went from 232 to 202. Hurray! Then I allowed work to stress me out to where I ate and ate and ate and ate. The irony is that while I cut and cut and cut the $$$ because of my work obligation, I grew and grew and grew.

Two days ago I walked by a scale and thought I'd just check it out (don't know why the scale was there) and well guess what? I am now at 254 lbs. What?!? What?!? Again, What!?! 254!?! How did that happen? When did that happen? Why did that happen?

Then my mind flooded with memories of when I was a thin dancer, actor, and sexy guy.

Years ago I used to mock and make fun the idea of dieting and how if you don't stick with it you'll gain it all back again and more. Well, I'll tell you what, I am eating my words (or the pizza sitting next to me). Oh no, I am now one of those?

I recently joined Facebook and have decided to go to my 20th High School reunion. Again, what? 20 years!?! Oh, yes. I need a reason to lose the pounds and am proud that I even want to attend the reunion. I have learned the last few months that not only have I evolved, but many others as well.

Anyone that reads this please encourage me and share any story you may have.

Love to you all.

--Sean

Vulcan, Alberta

. . . And you thought the US had some crazy roadside attractions. Above is a picture of the sign in Vulcan, AB. Below is a picture for my trekkie friends of the Starship Enterprise. . .



Below: Me as Captain Janeway, who was the captain of Voyager. This was the only Star Trek series I really got into due to Jim and really my favorite. God that seems like years ago. . .



Funny because I feel like I am from another planet.

Driving down memory lane again. . .

"Memories" sung by Barbra from Cats.

Tony Award Winner

Brilliant!

Wicked.

Below is a promo video. I saw this play live on Tuesday with my good friend Kim. Loved every moment of it. . . Go see the show live if you can. . . This is the published version. . .

Ross Mathews

Over the last few months I have posted videos of Ross the Intern from The Tonight Show, I just think he's the best and funny. Well he was just hired by the pop culture TV show The Insider and now has an online show which is all about Hollywood called Inside Dish with Ross Mathews. I just love it and have added the link to my Greatest Sites. Check it out.

You Must Love Me.

Okay, now that I am thinking about it, I must post a video of Madonna singing You Must Love Me live form the Oscars, 1997. Has it been that long since the movie came out??

And I am telling you by Jennifer Hudson.

Canada, Just Love Me. . . I feel like Eva Peron from Evita. I watched Oprah today in which Jennifer Hudson was a guest. I loved it! Below is the song And I am Telling You, sung live. I am not really a fan of Ms. Hudson, but this is pretty cool. . .